Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Dedicated to you - My Life, My First, Hadya

I'm due anytime soon for my 2nd baby. My due date falls on 27th may and knowing that this is the 2nd pregnancy people says that it will be usually earlier that expected. But still I was not expected anything earlier than 23rd May. 

I wanted more time. I wanted more nights with Hadya. I put her to sleep every night for 22 months now and I watched her closely after she's in deep sleep watch every features of hers. I enjoyed it. She does not look like  me, neither she look exactly like my hubby, I find that extra-ordinary and unique in her own way. Her no.1 trademark - her Hair! We all love her hair.

She likes her hair messy. She only wear a hairband not longer than 3 hrs and she will pull them off and brushed her hair through with her fingers. And of course it will fluffed up. 

Here's a good example.

1st picture will be the one where she just dolled up feeling pretty, and the 2nd picture will be the one where's she's ready for nap time.

I believe she will be a good big sister. From the time she saw the ultrasound when I was pregnant for 5 months, she had kissed my tummy every morning or any single time I was scolding her in this exact same line " Baby..... Muah! " . That exactly means, in the morning, she greets everyone and acknowledged the baby but any other time, she was black mailing me, loving the baby coz my reply to her will always be, "Baby love you too.." And she will get away with whatever she just did. 

For the past 2 weeks, Hadya has been so clingy to me. I believe she sensed it. She sensed that she will soon be a big sister and she will start having responsibilities and maybe a competition.

I got worried. I asked my husband "How do we ensure that we are being fair parents ?" 
Hadya had been such a good baby since born that she had set most targets a mother want at an exceptional level. And then I questioned, "What if my baby boy is a bully, and does not meet whatever Hadya had met?"

It struck me asking myself if I'm normal for thinking such. Raising a girl and raising a boy is a totally different agenda. Hubby had taught me that what was the most important thing to do as parents is to teach them the virtues of a good Muslim cause all those virtues will lead them to be a good human.  

I never once want to be favorable. I never once want to be unfair. I will learn along the way I guess and I believe we all are learning. Hubby and I, the kids. Learning about the journey of life and overcoming it.

Here is a dedication for you my 1st angel,

Dear Hadya,

When did you become an almost  2 year old? Where has the time gone? There are moments I still feel you dancing in my belly, nuzzling your tiny face into the nape of my neck as I burp you. The smell of dried milk and baby powder on your skin.

I loved every minute of our time together, when I was pregnant with you. Moving together, baking Baji's cookies together (where you will just eat the raw dough instead), sleeping within me—safe from the world. You taught me intimacy at a time when I needed it the most. 

You are a joyful, observant spirit. You watch, tentative, calculated a master at making your moves appear fluidly spontaneous. How do you do that? You take your time and then you jump in, completely. 

I remember feeding you, nursing you. I had to be patient and willing to wait. You would drink slowly, mindfully. Filling yourself to prepare to be awake, aware and engaged in everything you did. I watched you grow this way, from sitting up, to crawling, to walking, to running, to sprinting, to climbing, dancing, coloring, playing the guitars and drums, memorizing A-Z.

Everything you do, you make it look effortless because you took the time to learn, to watch and to know first. I didn't even had to put an effort and you already surprised me with your intelligence.

I will help protect your knowledge, your eternal love and wisdom as long as I live. 

You love your Baji, oh! do you love your Baji. You even call him "B"..  He adores you and you adore him right back. I’m thankful for that—that you have a father. Every girl deserves a father. I don’t have to worry about men taking advantage of you because you will never let them. You have a man in your life who has set the bar for the rest.

Don’t settle for anyone less than the extraordinary example your father has set for you. You will fond your own "B.." someday.

I love how you eat. You take time, you enjoy every bite, you taste. I learn so much from you. This is how you live your life,  you taste every morsel of life. You are a bit picky with your food too. You love chicken rice, crackers, and cereals. You will eat fruits here and there but your favorite - grapefruit. How did you do it? I can't even put a straight face trying to taste your grapefruit. You certainly have a sweet tooth too, chocolate is your favorite. 

Right now, you are snuggling your stuffed animal rabbit, Babbit.  You were so proud to show her off to Umi's and Baji's friends. 

You love your hair—curly and messy hair. It's adds up to your adventurous character. Yet, your hair is perfect Hadya. Curly, wispy, a mind of it’s own, just like you. 

You are yin and yang, a perfect balance.

There is just something about you. Something out of this world and I respect it. I always will. I promise to support you in whatever you decide to do in life because I know it is your journey to have. Even if you'd tell me you are going to be a rock star—I wouldn’t be surprised. 

Whatever you do and wherever you go, I will hold your hand like I do right now, and I will walk with you. I’m going to miss the day your tiny hand outgrows mine, when I can’t wrap my pink finger around your wrist as you hop over every crack on your way into school. Nothing ever stays the same, but one thing: my boundless love for you. 

I am just grateful you chose me to be your mother. I waited for a very long time for you, my kindred spirit. 

I hope you always stay this happy. 

Hadya, I love you from the roots of the earth to the moon and back. You and your brother are the loves of my life. Being your mom has been the greatest gift of my life. Raising you to fulfill your purpose in life, is my purpose, one I cherish. 

You will always be safe, you will always be protected, and you will always be loved.

Go adventure, be brave, be bold, be courageous because you are meant to discover, to create, to learn, to experience it all and I will love you every step of the way, no matter what. 

I love you Hadya Habibi. And You will be the most wonderful Big sister..
She might not understand these now. But someday, when she opens up my blog to read my hearts content, she will. 
From 3 to 4 of a kind soon.

Upon My Word,

Monday, July 23, 2012

To My baby Girl Hadya on her 1st Birthday

Lil Baby Hadya,

You stole my heart the second I saw the ‘positive’ reading on the test; even though every ounce of my being was petrified of the journey and the trailblazing it would entail in order to get to meet you. I knew you were brave enough to make it all the way to our arms, I just hoped against all rational hope that I was as well.
When we brought you home from the hospital, daddy and I would playfully fight over who got to hold you. We both wanted you in our arms every second of the day and loved the feeling of your soft cheeks as we rocked you and covered you with kisses before bedtime.
I knew this day was coming, I knew the past year would fly by, but I had no idea how fast. I promised myself I wouldn't be sad that you were growing up, but instead feel the utmost gratitude that despite our obstacles, you are healthy; you are able to blossom, thrive, change, and learn; when there are so many little angel babies who do not live to see their 1st birthday.
This year has been the quickest of my life. I look back and see a blur of Baji holding your hand for the first time, fighting with everything I had to breastfeed you, even if it was against medical advice, I wanted to give you the best start possible,  your first taste of a orange (which you utterly enjoyed), your my frightening visit to the clinic for your routine injections, our first holiday trip as a family to Phuket, walks with you and Baji, you laughing in your sleep, those seconds when you lock eyes with mine and you let me know you've been our destiny all along. You and daddy also have your special moments. You are definitely a daddy’s girl and it fills me with immense joy when I see you two caught up in your own little world of giggles and snuggles.
During our time together that we have already been blessed with, you have taught me more than anyone else ever has. You have introduced me to an entirely fresh facet of love. Your first cry was the most beautiful sound my ears have ever basked in. I ached to hold you whenever I’m out or at work. I cried on my 1st road trip holiday with Baji without you ( it was hell for 2 nights for me, NEVER would I do it again! ). 
I didn't think it was possible, but I am more thankful for you today than I was on the day you were born. The more I learn, the more I read, the more I slowly grasp how remarkable the fact is you are here today. You are breathing, growing, loving, teasing, laughing, scolding, shouting and I find all moments magical.
You have made me consider big things this year. You've taught me how to truly laugh again. You have stretched my heart to the limit where I had no choice but to BELIEVE again and surrender to the magic that is tangled up in every single minute.
You inspire me to be the best version of myself, to love deeper, to take more chances, to live with reckless abandon, to walk through each day with a good dose of wonder and whimsy. I want to teach you so many things. I want to lead the way for you in your fabulous little life.
I will always be there for you. Never once I would want you to feel alone!
Cheers to you, baby girl, on your first big day. May the year ahead be one filled with wonderment, learning, exploring, and having fun on this life’s amazing journey. We encourage you to find your way, but please know Baji and I will be there to catch you when you fall.
Click to play this Smilebox collage
Lots of Love,

Friday, June 22, 2012

His 1st Father's Day

It was his first Father's day this year. Being a father is a brand new experience for him. Holding a life in his hand to a child name Hadya had never made him any happier.

Only words could and picture could express our gratitude.

For my dearest Baji,

"Walk a little slower, Daddy,"
said a child so small.
"I'm following in your footsteps
And I don't want to fall. 

Sometimes your steps are very fast,
Sometimes they're hard to see;
So walk a little slower, Daddy,
For you are leading me.

Someday when I'm all grown up,
You're what I want to be;
Then I will have a little child
Who'll want to follow me.

And I would want to lead just right,
And know that I was true;
So, walk a little slower, Daddy,
For I must follow you."

I love you honey.. Happy 1st father's day.

Click to play this Smilebox scrapbook
May you be my friend and foe, Best friend and enemy, lover and scandal, husband and affair cause I want my life that interesting as can be. Life is never a smooth sailing boat but a scary roller coaster ride.

But when you put you arms around me, then I'm home.

We love you much!

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Why choose same style - Jalabiya 2012

It's been a while isnt it?

I've been seeing a lot of FB sellers selling jalabiya nowadays. This is a raging fashion here in Singapore. Ever since Arab Street was the most popular hang out place and belly dancing is a enjoying performance , so is the fashion evolving. Jalabiya now is a trend here.

Ladies nowadays don't just opt fot 'Baju Kurung' anymore. These long dresses called Jalabiya in arabic are a HUGE hit.

I browse through all these online sellers, send them queries and even ordered some. The thing about buying online is that , the sizes isn't exactly right even when asked for measurements, you can't return or exchange. And sometimes, you will only find out that the fabric with all the beadings are super heavy and when you wear it, it kept showing your cleavage,

But then, that's still hideable if you are wearing a hijab. Then come your worst nightmare, you go for Eid visiting, someone else is wearing the exact same thing or same design, different colour.

My advise to you is , buy a fabric of your choice! There is a huge selection of all sorts of fabrics located at Arab Street. Choose your own material, colours you love and texture you are comfortable with, mix and match the fabric. Go to a good tailor and customize your own. A simpe jalabiya is not so hard to sew.(that was what my tailor said ). But all these has to be done at least 3 months before Eid.

Typically , in Singapore, all the tailors does not take your orders 2 months before Eid. They are totally fully book with what I dont know!

I've been looking out for latest Jalabiya fashion and I will always go to Beenas from Dubai for her latest creations. It's gorgeous - I promise!

So for Jalabiya 2012, below are my chosen designs. I've chosen my fabric, my colour and my design.

So which one will be yours?

And also, Charm Bakes (my baking blog) was thinking of taking orders for Eid this year. Maybe you could comment on what you want to see on that blog, and I could work things out.

Thanks for reading.

Upon My Word!

Monday, January 2, 2012

Hadya Binte Haidar Khan Surattee

I have not been touching Upon My Word for a long time. I had been busy baking and Charm Bakes is well updated now. I have been more actively baking after I gave birth and after of course after I got myself a helper.

Motherhood has been nothing but blessed. I understood the joy of all mothers the moment we help the first baby in their arms. I was at the highest peak of my life and everything else of me would evolve around her.

On 23rd July 2011, I gave birth to my first baby girl. She was born 50 cm long weighing 3.53 kg, right on the estimated delivery date.

We named her Hadya ( meaning : Guide to Righteousness )

Her name was not just picked randomly. I specifically wanted a short name. Hearing all those babies with long names was just not my preference. I wanted her name as short as possible, as meaningful as it can be and may she be the person as how her name was meant for. Layla was my first choice but Hadya just caught my attention like love at first sight.

She was my guide. My guide that I want to do better in life not just being a mother but a better person worth living.

It used to be just the 2 of us against the world and now its 3. Hubby and I had never been happier. Waking up to see her smile, get panic when she cried, fed her when she's hungry and bought toys that caught her attention. It's a learning process for all 3 of us. Hubby learnt how to carry and care for a baby, being a good father,  I'm learning how to be a good mother and Hadya, learning all the new things in life.

What more could we ask for [ other than having another baby to complete the family package :) ] ?

Pictures of Hadya from 0 to 5 months.

She grew beautifully and still growing.

Many asked, who does her features come from. I would say - Both of us. She was fair, she had both our features equally.

I love everything about her! Which mother doesnt?

She is 5 months and 2 weeks now. Active and squeaky.

My dearest daughter Hadya Binte Haidar Khan Surattee,

I will always recall the momentous day you were born, I became the happiest mother on earth. Your father and I marveled at the angel kisses on your cheeks, your tiny, wrinkled fingers and your intense eyes. I'm not embarrassed to admit it, but I cried. Deep tears of joy. Because all my life the one thing I always knew was I wanted to be a mother. Other than that I was often rudderless, trying to navigate the ocean of life and figure out what my path in life was to be. But I never wavered in my hope to be a mother. So when you were born you will be giving me the experience of a lifetime. The experience that holds the deepest most treasured place in my heart.

Your are indeed my 'Hadya ( 'Gift' in Malay translation ). Gift from Allah.